Or is it?
The way passion is marketed we are led to believe that there is this secret entity named passion that is working harder than ever to wade through the masses of other people to find us, the special, the unique. We sit and wait for passion. Passion is that way. It will never give up until it finds us.
Passion resides within us. It is not some exterior force heaped upon us by some mysterious entity named passion. As I’ve been deep into producing content for my story, I have realized that the only place I can pull passion is from within.
I’ve written a few meandering posts about it in the past. In those posts, I subscribed to the external myth of passion. I patiently waited for something to come along to speak directly to me. To feed my desires and needs. But nothing ever came. I thought I was becoming a cynical, apathetic human being because nothing was seeking me out. I was never the audience.
I was shoving my responsibility onto an imaginary entity. Hoping beyond hope that it would find me.
A few days ago I was bestowed a fresh insight which had been floating just outside my perception for a long time. I blamed my alcoholism for my lack of passion. I was wrong. Passion cannot burn out. The flame may dwindle but it will never die. That is passion. Consistency. Resilience. Durability. It was inside me the entire time. I just lost sight of it. It is up to me to engage with the outside, not the other way around. I thought that passion was heaped upon me and that I had no control over it. How wrong I was.
That would be like saying that I have no control over my actions. Passion manipulated me and created a weakness. I cannot accept that. Passion doesn’t think about good or bad. We have to compel the passion within us towards positive creations. I was weak and allowed passion to take the blame. No more.
I will drive passion towards my goal of completing my novel.