Yup. My string is defeated. I am completely shamed. After a good two months of consistent work I missed four days of writing. The human part of me says it was because life took over and I have to get that stuff done. It is true. Those things have to get done. There’s packing. There’s travel planning. There’s figuring out what to do after this current situation is finished. My time here is almost complete and soon Japan will be a fading memory, giving way to whatever current situation will demand my attention.
Life is not an excuse.
If I am to be serious about this thing then I can’t let it defeat me. I can’t let a small thing like life interrupt my goals. Looking back, I could have easily managed to fulfill my thirty minutes a day towards my goal. Maybe there is more to it?
Stability. I wonder if the fact that my current situation is unstable, or that my workspace is disheveled, or that my work schedule has become inconsistent, or the fact that so many bureaucratic frustrations have permeated my recent days, has anything to do with being unable to do the writing. It’s almost as if I have been defeated by the small things.
I am so weak.
Perhaps it is my greatest weakness. These things. It’s like I’m walking along minding my own business and these… things come up and stick their oversized shoes out to trip me. One is okay. I have to ignore it or satiate it, but then there are more and they demand my attention.
But you know what? I wrote today.
I don’t want this to sound too whiney. These things are real and cause real problems. Some people are better at coping than others. I am on the weak side of that spectrum. Now that I recognize my weakness I can turn it into a strength.
I want to end this little charade on a high note. Here’s a picture of me with a resolute owl on my shoulder. Yay!